I HATE IT!!!!!

When elections where going on this last year, I hated the fact that everyone was saying Obama was going to win. When he actually did win, I was like great, here we go, this ought to be interesting. I really didn't like the guy. Just something about him annoyed the hell out of me. To this day I still can't quite figure it out but I still don't really like him. However, putting aside my immature little emotions and opinions, I respect the man. He has the guts to be the first African American Presedent. He is trying his hardest, or I would assume so, to pull us out of our economic hardships, and frankly, the man can speak his ass of. His way with words is amazing and totally respectful. No, I don't like the man, or everything that he stands for, but he sure does have so guts, and he sure can speek extremely well.

Flashback: Freshman year

Seems like we are two different people; her and me. I have done so much growing, so much changing. Back then I was timid and shy, totally fearful that I wasnt going to make any friends. I remember the feelings like they were yesterday. Butterflies deep in my stomach, waiting for the first day of school. Now man, now I have so many friends, so much support. I still get butterflies in my stomach when I wake to go to school, but these are good ones, ones of excitement and not fear. I think my outlook on situations has changed as well. My look of myself and my worth have changed drastically as well. I no longer let people walk all over me, telling me what to do all the time, and how to do things. I also no longer put myself on the back burner. I care about myself just as much as I would care for someone else. What I want does matter and what I believe is best for me matters as well. Im no longer this little girl but have turned myself into a beautiful young woman. I still have lots of growing up to do and never expect to stop learning and growing, its a part of living, its what makes living worth while.

Showing love!

I think the biggest moment in my life that showed me that my mom loves me and that my dad loves me in when my mom gave me up and let me go live with my dad, and when my dad took me in with such short notice. I rememeber that night clearly and how drugged out my mom was. I remember us pulling Ashley out the window just so she could escape the house. I remember calling my dad saying I needed to go and I needed to go then. I remember him getting to me in like 20-30 min when the drive normally takes 45-60 min. The memory is burned in my brain. But it also showed me that my mom was willing to sacrifice alot so that I was safe. She showed me that no matter how much it hurt her to see us leave and go live with my dad, that she would do anything to make us safe. That showed me how much she loved me then and when I look now it shows me how much she loves me still. Now she is letting me move back in with her to attend college out there. She is excited as I am. Just little things like hugs and unexpected I love you's show her love daily. I love ya Momma!

Goodbye Highschool!

Hell yes! Goodbye drama (not the class of course), goodbye immature people, goodbye classrooms, goodbye teachers.....oh wait crap, none of these things leave my life. AGH!!!!! :) No but Im excited to leave high school and start a new chapter in my life. I have decided that Im going to keep posting even after we are graduated though. Im going to miss so many things at school though. Especially the new friendships I have made. Im also going to miss my amazing teachers. The ones who have put up with me for so many years and the ones putting up with me now. :) So many things are going to be changing. The comfort of the familiarity of everything is probably going to be the thing I miss the most though. Change has always been a scary factor for me. But even so, I figured when I finally sat down to write this particular entry that I would realize the short time we have left and start to cry, however no tears come. I feel like Linda in Death of a Salesman in the Requium when she says she cant cry, that it hasnt hit her yet that he isnt coming back. I think thats where Im at now. I still feel like after the summer is over, I feel like Im going to just be coming back for another year. I think all the emotions of everything will finally hit after graduation. I just cant believe we have finally made it. Class of '09!!! We made it. We finally made it.

They always say goodbye!

So this is totally a rewrite of a previous one. When I first wrote this I was extremely tires and was reading in the dark and mistaked the prompt. So in order to get a good grade I am rewritting it. :) So the prompt says have people who are important to you say goodbye. But you know what I was thinking. I don'd want these people saying good-bye. Good-byes have always been the hardest to me. A matter of fact I hate them very much. But if good-bye was truly necessary then these are what people would have said:

Ashley (my sister): "I love you very much, I hope that everything turns out the way you want it to. I will miss you very much and wish that you weren't going away, but I understand that you have to leave and do it for yourself. I know that you will always be here for me. Bye"
Dad: "Where you going?" (I had to explain) "Oh, okay. Well, if I had to say good-bye to you my last words would be that I am very proud of the woman that you have become. I have been truly blessed to have you as a daughter and I hope that life will bring you many treasures and happiness along the way."

I don't know who else to ask right now, but I will ask friends at school and add them later. I just can't believe that I read the prompt wrong and wrote about something completely dumb hahah.