Questionable Values?????

Life! A very complicated thing, for lack of a better word. Things have happened in my life, many things for that matter, that have caused me to question what I truly believe and certain values that I have. So here a poem that explains some of them:

That night I chose to stay out all evening,

dancing in the sweet smelling rain,

disregarding the sickness

that would soon cause so much pain.

That night I chose to fly away,

that lonely frost bitten night,

escaping all my fears,

while fists collided in a bloody fight.

That night I chose to puch the cold hard steel

deep into my leg,

screaming for the numbness to cease,

crying cause I neednt beg.

That night he told me I chose to fall in love,

to have his hands caress my skin,

praying for death,

and in that moment hating ALL men.

I chose that sickness,

I chose that flight,

I chose that razor,

and evidently chose to lose that fight.

But today I chose

to stand up tall,

with my head held high,

never again to feel that small.

For the power's been within me,

it's been there all along.

It's allowed me to make choices,

and to sing my own song.

So no more sickness,

and no more fears.

No more blades,

and no more tears.

Today I stand,

cause it's my choice,

to sing and dance,

and share my voice.

So from the poem you can see certain things that I have been through that may have questioned my beliefs. But other things have happened TO me, out of my control that have also made me question certain things. Like the passing of my very best friend, my grandma. But other things too. Like why is there sickness and death anyways? Why are there harmful things present in out lives? But I guess that's all just a part of living. If there weren't some risks, then would it really be living?