Hard work!!!

Never let anyone tell you that a little bit of hard work never pays off....

It seems like all I ever say anymore is "I have too much stuff to do", but you know what....all the shit I have been through lately is paying off tremendously. I went to my stats class tonight, totally forgeting that my professor still had the exam we took a while back. I talked to a classmate who said that the average in the class was in the 60's....Im thinking "great I just flunked the exam then....", well after class I approached my professor and got my exam. I didnt bomb at all, 91% baby. I kicked ass.

Also been trying to get my room squared away right....well I got it completed in one day. My bed came and was put together and feels amazing to sleep in. I got the rug that matches perfectly with all my stuff....and although I didnt get a new dresser, the dresser I do have works perfectly in the space....everything seems to be going good right....HAHAHA

Seems is the operative word here....I did not think one person could be under such stress but leave it to me to put myself in the situation that stress is all I have....again I have slipped into the habit of putting everyone else before myself...which isnt necessarily the problem until my school work started to slip too. I have a midterm tomorrow in my psych class and Im not entirely sure how Im going to pull it off. I am just thankful that it is all multiple choice, at least then I have a good chance of guessing right.

Then to add to all the other stresses of being there for my friends and getting all my school stuff done, my family is having money issues. This fact hit me hard because I cant help for now. Its a horrible feeling, knowing that no matter what you do its just not going to be enough right now. Like Im cutting back on the expenses that I cause the family, and Im trying my hardest to get a job....but its not looking so good. But Im never going to give up...I cant.

To top everything off, Im slowly starting to miss my dad more and more. I just cant deal with that too right now. Everything is going good in life and I want it to continue. I cant add drama that I am trying so hard to avoid. I see people with their dads and stuff hanging around town and I miss that...we used to do everything together...shop, cook, talk, watch movies, everything. But its whatever I guess. Eventually I know that we will rekinddle our relationship, I know so because I want him to be apart of my future kids lives. I dont want my kids going through the same stuff I went through with my grandfather. I will prevent that as much as I can.

Anyways, Im off to rewrite my english essay. Good night. Sleep tight! And to the world of dreams, see the beauty in the things your might be missing!